I am Bad Luck Schleprock. Remember that dude from The Flintstones? He started showing up around the time The Flintstones jumped the shark. Schleprock & Gazoo. Yep. Even cartoons can jump the shark. Anywho, Schlep was plagued with bad luck. The thing with bad luck & me is that I’m pretty used to it. I must be the worst Irish woman ever in regards to luck. But, instead of getting all worked up over it, I typically seek out the humor and laugh. My life works better that way.
My latest black cloud started with a cold.
Everyone was walking around sick at work on New Year’s Eve. I knew the moment I heard the hacking & snuffling that I would be the next victim. Stupid diabetes robbed me of my immune system so I catch the funk fast. Sure enough, my head filled with snot and I was down for the count. My head is still stuffed and it’s been 2 weeks. I’m not ‘sick’ per say, I just have a head cold.
I decided that I would put Dex on so I didn’t have to keep checking my blood. That would take one thing off my snot filled plate. The Dex insertion was easy, and the set up process began. A couple hours later I told Dex what my bs was and d-life was running smoothly…until about an hour later.
Dex beeped. Sigh. I looked at the screen expecting to see ‘HIGH’ but instead saw 3 question marks & and a picture of X through the sensor. This was something new and I didn’t really give it much thought. I couldn't get it to register and needed to restart Dex. I told the transmitter I had a new sensor and went through the whole process again.
Those who have a Dex know the process takes a while. At least an hour, though I’ve never timed it. After several attempts, I chalked it up as a loss and removed the sensor. The next day I inserted a new sensor and the same thing happened. Two days of poking myself with two failed sensors and I called Dex. The rep took the info she needed, shipped out two new sensors for me and said that there was no way all four in the box could be messed up. Great. Ok. I inserted a third. Now Dex isn’t the best feeling being shoved into my skin and it’s definitely not my favorite thing to do. But, it's a way of life and I poked myself yet again....to have the same thing happen. Finally, I opened a new box and inserted a brand new sensor. This one worked…for about 8 hours…and then, yep, you guessed it. BAM! Same thing.
Throughout all of the Dex drama, I needed to change my pump. I woke up to the constant shrill of Omni expiring. So, I went through that process, hooked a new Cyborg module up & was ready to go. I was at work sitting at my desk when I heard Omni shriek ‘Occlusion!!’ Ugh. Really?
I keep an extra pod on me and one at work for such instances. Again, I went through the set up process…everything is a process with Diabetes! Usually when my pod is full of insulin, it gives me an ‘AOK’ beep. This time it beeped constantly. The PDM code said ‘Communication Error’ and that was the end of pod #1. Again, I didn’t give it much thought and grabbed my 2nd pod. I filled this one up with insulin and heard nothing. The PDM beeped again and yelled ‘Communication Error! Move closer blah de blah.’ I laid the PDM on top of the pod and nothing. Now I was screwed. I was out of pods.
I called Omni and was told that the signal was being skewed from sitting too close to electronic devices. ie: Computer/phones. I had to laugh and say ‘Well, I don’t live in a cave.’ There are electronic waves everywhere! Sigh. So, I stayed at work podless for about ½ the day. I reverted back to my old skool ways of shooting up. Apparently Cyborg Kelly doesn’t like shooting up, either that or my pen expired because my bs reached drastic heights and I had to go home.
So, I just sent my final email to my rep at Dex saying that it has to be me because I'm a Schleprock. My rep & I are friends now, by the way.
Every module I have inserted over the past 10 days has failed miserably. I guess Diabetes didn’t read the New Years resolutions that I wrote for it. Or, it just didn’t pay attention.
Luckily for me, it makes a great story that I can laugh about.